Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I AM VODKA MAN
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
