It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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