Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
