I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
