Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
