I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
