Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
