the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
