sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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