I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize