I'm going to jail i love you
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
