put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
