Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I have aggressive nipples.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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