Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Randomize
