I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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