i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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