if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He felt like a one man threesome
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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