Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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