Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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