just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
