are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize