I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize