I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
