Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
