She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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