Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
We got so high we made milksteak
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize