i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
