How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
