You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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