How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
