they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
