I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize