Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
