she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
