I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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