Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We need to get me chipped asap
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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