I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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