just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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