We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize