eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
