There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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