I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
