garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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