she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
When did angry sex become our thing?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I need to calm my uterus...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
