Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
