dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
