Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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