It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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