and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
