His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
