After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
so much tequila, so little girl.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
