can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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