i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
This is the high leading the old right now
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
