Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I feel like abortions should bother me more
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
