you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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