Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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