if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
