I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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