I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
