I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
